Recurring Themes

Recurring themes with the group so far:

SAFETY
I have seen a number of issues come up questioning, asking for, and trying to create safety. Then there is Boal, whose mantra seems to be "life is not safe, and theatre is not safe, because theatre is life". I can accept that fully, and yet at the same time, I have not felt comfortable in that. Both because I do not feel physically safe, and because I haven't been able to fully trust the group with my ideas and feelings. Only in smaller circles have I felt supported and held up.
Also, the group, I believe, turned on Boal because they were not able to bring things to our group leaders earlier-we hadn't been given a chance to meet and express our needs fully, beacsue we are always under time constraints.

TIME
Another HUGE theme. What is on time? And how do we stay on it in a place where we can even FIND it! This theme can go so many places, but for me, I have begun to feel better about time in terms of my age and when I had planned to get this or that done before this or that age. It has made me think about the way that things happen, being in divine order, and how one can never put a time frame on those things.

COMMUNICATION
I can begin this one with the obvious. At first, there was no phone, no internet, and a miserable me. I wanted so desperately, for everyone to know exactly what was going on with me when I arrived so that they wouldn't worry. Then I realized that people knew where to contact me and I felt better. I send one email a day, and that has freed up my TIME to think, to interact, and enjo my experience here.
With the group, the lines have been down. We have done well with some repairs here and there, but it seems like we have too large of a problem to deal with in short spurts. What HAS helped us is being in class, and telling one another's stories, and saying things with our bodies and in character that we may not have otherwise.
I think that is profound, and has saved our group from failure.
Outside of our group, lack of communication has reulted from a lack of understanding, primarily due to LANGUAGE.

LANGUAGE
Sometimes words are wonderful, and other times, they fall short. the language barrier has been difficult for everyone, but has really taken a toll on the group experience in class. We are relying on THEM to speak english, not vice versa, which puts us in a place that should be one of humility and gratitude. Not the case. As a whole, I think we have shown our butts, and have played out the role of the arrogant, naive Americans, that arrive with a sense of entitlement everywhere they go. That has been difficult for me to handle, especially in the moments where i am tired of trying to speak Portuguese and get comfortable with assuming others should understand me. I made a comment to Pe, about people responding to me in english when i try to speak to them in Portuguese. He said "Everybody wants to practice". I think that makes alot of sense.

PROCESS
By now, I'm am so tired of the word. I feel like I have done a great deal of processing on this trip, and not all of it has been helpful. But in the quiet moments, or when I get to speak sincerely, and someone comes up to me and shares something they were thinking, I am grateful for that processing. There is a spirit of competition in the air even in processing with this group. Who can get the last word, whose comment was more insightful... I don't think we are saying this out loud, but we are in a place, an opportunity to be encouraging toward one another, and sometimes we miss is because we want to be seen and heard by the group. That is powerful, because it means that people are seeking validation from the group. But it can fester so quickly, that we all have to be careful to listen to ourselves. That's all that I am trying to do.